Those that know me know that I am the official “gym rat” of The Smugger crew. I’m in the gym probably 5 days a week doing all sorts of randomness in my quest to become a full-time super hero, gladiator, and USA Olympic Mens Basketball walk on. As I frequent the gym I realize that some of you fellas have no idea that you are violating multiple codes when working out. This is the first of a series of tips describing what to look out for while getting your body ready for the beach this summer.
- Interrupting someone during their workout to talk to for five minutes about working out or some other BS that only you and your mom care about
- During an initial introduction, telling another man that he is…BIG. I don’t get it. We are in the gym, right?
- Wearing biker shorts with no shorts on top… these guys are just weirdos
- Not wiping your nasty sweat off of the equipment with the gym supplied sanitizer
- Putting the dumbbells in the wrong spot on the rack. The 30 pound weight always seems to be right in the 85 pound dumbbell spot when I need the 85… I think it’s a conspiracy… (weak vs strong)
- Wearing only your draws (or less) and thong sandals (no bro toes) in the locker room and looking me in my eyes for ANY amount of time. “Eyes to the ground bruh.”
- After I tell you I have three more sets on a piece of equipment you stand and watch me as I complete my three sets. Either ask to work in or just come back when I’m done.
- Asking another man for his phone number without a necessary reason. Working out together the next day is not a sufficient reason. I’ll just meet you there since I obviously don’t need directions. After a few workouts exchanging info is cool if need be. (This was not an issue until I moved to Atlanta)
- Bringing 7 bags of groceries from Kroger and putting them in your locker…I actually saw this happen yesterday
- Singing along to your favorite DMX song on your iPod so the whole gym knows that you lost your dogs… “Where My Dogs At!!! Roof!!! Roof!!!”
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury…. Ms. Teyonah Parris Next Post:
A Penny Earned: Casual Dating, Part 2