The Smugger
Urbane Male. Life. Style.


February 8, 2013

A Penny Earned: Casual Dating, Part 2

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Written by: Austin Weatherington
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In preparing this week’s installment, I began thinking about how I needed to make this topic more real. Inspired by Ray Lewis and the Ravens Super Bowl victory, I began brainstorming on what I needed to do to get my “squirrel dance” on, and really give this thing some extra stank. Everyone knows I’m a basketball fanatic, and consequently I have a rather annoying habit (or so I’ve been told) of somehow relating everything in LIFE back to basketball. The delicious ingredients that make up a Chipotle burrito? Basketball. The uncanny ability for cats to always land on their feet? Basketball. The philosophical difference between W.E.B. Du Bois and Booker T. Washington? Definitely basketball ( shout outs to Black history month lol).

Last week I discussed some of my thoughts behind men spending money on the first date/getting to know stage. While I understand that ultimately this is a personal decision, I felt it my duty to elaborate a bit further on the topic; in an attempt to diversify what I considered to be limited psychology on the issue. I expressed how brothas shouldn’t feel like a cheapskate by not spending money on the first date, and even more, how women shouldn’t require/expect it.

Ladies, I know many of you are reading this thinking I’m just another dude trying to “get the milk without buying the cow (whatever the hell that means). I know many of you find no error in your expectations/ weeding out process—and why should you? After all wouldn’t it be nice to avoid playing the guessing game, and date freely without reservations? To date with some type of knowledge on who this person is?

And that my friends, is where the lovely game of basketball comes moseying in.

I, like most basketball fanatics, was an obsessive card collector growing up. Yes, I’m not ashamed to admit that I would go home and study the back of cards like Bible verses. Stats, colleges, bios, you name it. So in my attempt to drive home the point, I decided to help the ladies out a little bit, and make “dating cards” with all the important stats and corresponding information that may not revealed off top. Fellas you’ll thank me later.
V-Neck Vance
Sex: M
Age: 27
Height: 6’2
Highest education level: MBA
Occupation: Business Consultant
Kids: None, but countless scares
Body type: Mildly athletic
Salary: 55k
Attire: V-Necks
Residual monthly income: $300
Residence: Ritzy part of city
Is Looking For: A cool, non-materialistic, down-to-earth chick (with a nice butt)
Doesn’t want you to know: He gets lonely
Interesting fact: Just started wearing V-Necks
Seen to women as: A winner
Life’s Philosophy: “Where there’s a will there’s a way”
James Harris
Sex: M
Height: 5’10
Highest education level: Trade school for HVAC (some classes at University)
Occupation: HVAC specialist
Kids: None
Body type:Lightweight pudgy
Salary: 68k
Attire: Timbs and a sweater
Residual monthly income: 1k
Residence: Burbs
Is Looking For: Beyonce
Doesn’t want you to know: He frequents white bars and likes white girls
Interesting fact: Enjoys the arts
Seen to women as: The blue collar “brother” type
Life’s Philosophy: “I ain’t got no worries”
Sex: M
Height: 6’0
Highest education level: MLK high school
Occupation: Street Pharmacist
Kids: 1
Body type: Swole
Salary: 100k tax free
Attire: Hood (occasional button-ups when going out)
Residual monthly income: 100k
Residence: Hood
Is Looking For: The business professional type
Doesn’t want you to know: That he doesn’t have to sell drugs
Interesting fact: Reads the Bible every day, very GOD fearing
Seen to women as: A thug
Life’s Philosophy: “It’s much bigger issues in the world, I know/ But first I had take care of the world I know”

Stay tuned for Part 3 next week where I’ll analyze some of this information and tie it into spending money on dates. Until then, I’m just dropping pennies.

About the Author

Austin Weatherington
Austin Weatherington


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